I am so slack, i keep forgetting to post on here, maybe i should just give up? i wanted to write but i feel lethargic, drained energy-less, i think it is bed time but i know i won't sleep oh well

Update

Ok so my monster-in-law, i mean mother-in-law has struck again... she tried "to kill herself" why that is in speech marks is because 1 hour before she took 9 panadol she called her brother, so on both counts clearly not an actual suicide attempt, from someone who tried a number of times in her teen years to do this, if you want to die you DO NOT CALL SOMEONE AND TELL THEM YOU ARE DOING IT... and 9 panadol is not going to do much. maybe 19 even then not much but a bad stomach ache. now when the doctors asked her why she did it she blamed me because i was not talking to her... bloody hell, so she acts like a bitch and attacks me, i remove myself and my daughter and then it is my fault we aren't talking to her? great... so my partner who told me he never wanted to see her again, went to see her, after telling me he wouldn't, so she has succeeded in getting my partner to lie to me, and of course we fought about it, so another victory for her... now she is saying she is going to do it again if i don't bring my daughter over to visit... FUCK NO!!!!!! why would i put me daughter in danger because she threatens me... but then my partner wanted to take her, i am seriously considering splitting up with him just so he won't take her to his mother... i feel bad but what am i supposed to do.... i am conflicted because i love my partner but i refuse to let my daughter be polluted by that toxic woman... what should i do???

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is anyone there at all?

Had a good night

Went to see brother in law, sis in law and baby nephew at 4pm this arvo thought we would stay until maybe 7 or 8, we got home at 12.30 am LOL they live 15 mins down the road hahahahahaha too busy gasbagging and the boys were playing xbox while the kiddies slept, oh so cute! had a really good night! very tired, about to go to bed feeling good! YAY! :)

worst mother in law?

ok, i don't mean to bitch about mother's in law but seriously i have had enough. here is the story...
when i first got otgether with my partner i was 2 months pregnant, but he loved me and my daughter well before she was born, when i met my mother in law she was so nice and accepted me, everything was going well until my daughter was about 5 months old and her 12 year old son attacked me( he has adhd and aspergers) he hit me a number of times and was throwing stuff at me while i was holding my daughter, i yelled at him and told him to stop, she then lost the plot at me and told me i was horrible. we left and she rang me and abused me and then when we were told to come over to sort it out and get some of our stuff we had there she did nothing but call me a bitch and yell and scream, i was standing in the doorway and she charged up to me screaming she was going to kill me and my daughter, she put her hands up to my throat. i was abused as a child so i freaked out and pushed her away. she then threw stuff at me and went to grab my daughter but my partner got her first and as we were leaving she said to my partner that if he left with me he would be dead to her and no longer part of the family, he told her to grow up and left with us. eventually she apologised and i forgave her because her dad had died a few months before so i thought it might of had something to do with it. then for a while everything was fine again until the start of january this year. we were at her house and her son was sitting in their lounge room with my daughter who was 21 months at this stage, he was saying c**t over and over again and saying say this word miranda trying to get her to repeat it. now i was upset that day as my cousin had died in a car crash a few days earlier so i told him it was a horrible thing to do to a baby and to cut it out. so then he was annoyed with me. i am afraid of cockroaches and as we were leaving he flicked a huge one at me, now my partner got really angry and kicked him lightly on the butt as he ran past him, the 12 year old then tried to smash the car window and started saying how he wanted us to die in a car accident and described horrible things he wanted to happen to my daughter like her head being cut off, and he did so in graphic detail, i told him he was being disrespectful and started to cry, i told my mother in law we would not come over for a while because he was obviously upset with us, just to let things calm down. we had their car that they never used as ours was in the process of being fixed, we got home and she demands the car back, my partner works 1.5 hours away from our home and he works at 3am so no buses and we had no money for a taxi as we spent 2 lots of pay fixing our car, which was sitting at their house waiting to be picked up by the mechanic in the morning. my mother in laws partner (not my partners dad) said we could keep the car until ours was fixed, she lost the plot and said she was going to let down our tires, drain our gas tank and key the car. so my partner had to drive it home unregistered to drop off their car. she continued to abuse me throughout this and said she was calling docs on me and also said she was glad we suffered a miscarriage because we can't handle the child we have now. she swore at me and insulted me in every possible way. we were getting phone calls from private numbers at 3am and letters saying that someone was coming to get us in our mailbox. then my brother in laws girlfriend (who is also one of my best friends) told me that she was saying that my daughter was not her grandchild and that i had said to her that she was not allowed to see her other grandchild, which i NEVER said. so she was lying about me and just generally being horrible. so i just said stuff it and have since been ignoring her completely, then she started fighting with her son and his gf (the one with the baby) and her nephew who is with a friend of the family and they have 2 kids. she messaged me asking for help as she felt down or something and i had no credit so i rang my partner from a public phone and he messaged his mum saying i had no credit, she didn't respond at all. we did not go and see her for my daughters second birthday but they sent a present. so my partner rang and thanked her. we were supposed to go out for the first time in months to have a drink for mine and my partners brothers 21st, it was meant to be me, my partner, his brother who was turning 21 and his gf and his 18 year old brother, but she invited herself and was there when we showed up, so we left. now we have been ignoring her but today i uploaded some old photos of my partner and his siblings (all of whom are on facebook) and she told me to take the photos off because they belonged to her, despite the fact they were on my computer and none in the photos had a problem with them and none of the photos contained her or her 12yr old or her 8 year old or her partner. she is always looking for a fight with me and when she doesn't get a rise out of me she goes off and fights with someone else. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, seriously, anyone else got a worse mother in law?

Don't Feel inspired

I keep trying desperately to get motivated to do things but i am just not, nothing thrills me, but this morning it was completely different, funny how a few hours can change everything


Time

Long stretch
TICK TOCK
Passes by
so quick
flashes
right before
your eyes
Memories made
Memories lost
TICK TOCK
wish you could remember
wish I could forget
TICK
Time
TOCK
Is
Tick
UP
TOCK

Today

I have been very neglectful of my blog lately, sorry about that hahaha. I am going to the psychologist today and Missy Moo is going to my Nan's house and my partner is dropping me off first but after I have to catch the train to my Nan's cause he will be at work and can't pick me up. I am honestly thrilled about it, I am going to have at least 1 hour to myself! Without having to worry about what Missy Moo wants or what my partner wants. TIME TO MYSELF, I can relax completely. Wow foreign concept lol. Wish me luck!